How many times have you encountered a situation while negotiating, misunderstood the situation, initially, and then got a different impression of the situation after you had the opportunity to reevaluate it? Its probably occurred more times than you've noticed. Why do you think those occurrences happen? In most cases, people are not aware of their communication style. They are not aware of the manner in which they communicate, nor the signals they send out while communicating.

Everyone has a very unique style of communicating. Its almost akin to a special imprint implanted into our DNA.

When negotiating, take notice of the phraseology a person uses. Do they speak with phases, such as, I see what you mean, I hear what you're saying? The words a person uses, when they speak, give you insight into the way they're processing thoughts. If you, as a savvy negotiator, are astute enough to recognize the other persons thought process, you can use it to your advantage during the negotiations.

The way to use the processing of information in the mind of the other person can be multifaceted

1. If you want to heighten rapport, use the same phraseology (words) as the other person to explain your presentation.

2. If you want to break rapport, use different phraseology to explain your point (e.g. the other person says, I see what you mean. When you use phraseology to explain a similar point, youre response would be, I hear what you mean.

The fact that two different words were used to convey, basically, the same meaning will cause/create a slight differences in closeness and thus, you will have created a process that says, non verbally, that theres a disconnect. Try it and which the other persons body language. If you observe closely enough, you may notice a slight movement backwards.

The point of raising your perception to a higher level when communicating during a negotiation is to heighten your awareness to the times when you will have an advantage during the negotiations.

Pay attention to the style and means in which people communicate and you will notice your negotiation sessions will start to come to faster and more favorable conclusions.

Negotiation Lessons:

(Note) When negotiating, you should always be aware of everything thats going on in your environment. The greater your awareness, the more aware you will be of possible opportunities that you can take advantage of.

The negotiation lessons are

Take note of the manner in which the other person is communicating

Seek opportunities to bond to or to break the bonding process based on how the other person is communicating, when it is to your advantage to do so

For the next week, play a game with yourself. The game is to take note of as many people and their communication language. This will heighten your awareness prior to getting to the negotiation table and you will find that your more attuned when the time to negotiate occurs.

Thats it for this time, until next time here's hoping all of your negotiations are happy ones and remember, You're always negotiating.

Greg Williams - The Master Negotiator


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