Often you will hear the phrase, "Everything is negotiable." Well, I almost agree, because I do think almost everything is negotiable. In fact, I believe many things are negotiable that people don't realize they can negotiate on. Negotiation skills are not just for buying a house or purchasing a car. We all negotiate all of the time, sometimes you might not even realize you are negotiating, but if you are trying to get someone to see the movie you want to see rather than they one they are set on, or you are trying to convince your partner to go to your favorite restaurant rather than the one they prefer, you are negotiating. However, for purposes here, I want to focus on times when people think they can't negotiate, or they believe an item or issue is non-negotiable. Sometimes, all you need to do is ask.

Wayne Gretzky, the great hockey player, once said, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." He was absolutely 100 percent correct. You won't get anything if you don't go for it. Many people don't achieve their dreams, and don't acquire things they want, because they don't go for them, they don't ask. And sometimes, asking is all you need to do.

Think back, and I'm sure you can remember a time when you were afraid to ask for something, and didn't believe that asking would make any difference, but you went ahead anyway, and to your surprise, you got what you asked for. We've all had times like that, so why are we hesitant to ask more often? Basically it comes down to fear, and as we all have learned, fear is nothing more than false expectations appearing real. There are as many reasons for not asking as things not asked for, but the bottom line is that whatever your reason for not asking, you won't get what you don't ask for.

After you get over the fear of asking, break out of your comfort zone and ask for more than you expect to get. Aim high and you'll be surprised at how much more you receive. You can't be outrageous and ask for something completely unrealistic, but you'll be surprised at the deals you can make when you think big. Even if you don't get everything you ask for, you'll receive more when you ask for more.

As you study negotiation skills, don't be afraid to try them out. I'm not suggesting you attempt to manipulate others, but that you look for opportunities to ask for what you want, and not be afraid to negotiate. Always remember, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Alain Burrese, J.D. is a writer, speaker, and mediator who teaches how to live, take action, and get things done through the Warrior's Edge. He is an expert on conflict and mediates and teaches conflict resolution and negotiation. Additionally, he teaches physical conflict skills in his Hapkido and Self-Defense courses, lectures, and seminars. Alain is the author of Hard-Won Wisdom From The School Of Hard Knocks, the DVDs Hapkido Hoshinsul, Streetfighting Essentials, Hapkido Cane, the Lock On Joint Locking series, and numerous articles and reviews. You can read more articles and reviews and see clips of his DVDs as well as much more at http://www.burrese.com and http://www.yourwarriorsedge.com.

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