In the more than three decades that I have been involved in a variety of different negotiations, I have observed and witnessed a variety of different negotiating styles, attitudes and behaviors. When an experienced negotiator is involved, he understands that negotiating is actually both an art and a science, and requires doing one's homework, understanding human nature, being firm and tough but fair, treating other parties with both respect and honesty, etc.
Far too often, someone who thinks they can negotiate, and get a "better deal" takes a negotiating stance that might actually initially "win" certain points that a more experienced and expert negotiator would not. One of those reasons is that an expert understands that most negotiations are not "one shot" situations, and require developing a working relationship, over a period of time. Expert negotiators will therefore generally prioritize "demands" so as to "give back" a little on less important points, in order to be in a stronger position on more essential points.
When this process is not done on a "win-win" basis, there is almost never a realistic chance that the agreement will be maximally successful over time. The art of a negotiations is predominantly a human relationships study, where both sides must walk away from the agreement feeling they did alright, and that the negotiation and the result was both fair and equitable. However, let me make perfectly clear that one should negotiate every point and gain maximum benefit, but that those that make demands that will "hurt" the other party, are doing both sides an injustice. The experienced negotiator will study his opponent and know the strengths, weaknesses and needs of the other party. By doing this, he will be able to know where there is more bargaining or "wiggle" room, and where the other party has less room. The best way to maximize results is to openly discuss how both parties can reduce their expenses, and maximize their situation (either profits or costs), without adversely impacting the other. This may require compromise on both sides, or "thinking outside the box," to arrive at different ways to achieve certain needs and requirements.
Often, when I have negotiated on behalf of an organization, some individual in a leadership role decides that they could "do better" if they got involved. Not only has that never been the case, but on the occasions that an inexperienced person got involved, the results were adversely impacted. No organization can ever enhance their negotiations by negotiating "with two heads and two voices." Both parties to a negotiation must know that they feel comfortable with the other individual, and that they appreciate the full picture. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), there is no shortcut to gaining this type of experience or expertise. As in so many other things, it is essential to remember that merely having some experience does not make someone an expert.
